A Picture of Forgiveness

So, I don't really know where to start. Actually, I'll be honest, this is partly a reaction to my devotion I am doing right now and partly me just wearing my heart on my sleeve and telling you how I really feel.

So, a little background.. not long ago I was in a situation, and now, I am needing to be forgiven, and this person, just.... can't.... do it.

So everything that happened within my situation got me thinking about forgiveness, and what it means to forgive, in our eyes, in our hearts, in God's eyes. Lately I have been thinking about writing on this topic but I just haven't been able to find the words, until last night when I finished my devotion, and I peeked at the one for today (because I love my book so much that I want to read the whole thing.. right now.. its the message remix//solo. you should buy it) anyways, the title was "A Picture of Forgiveness." Instantly I knew this was God working yet again in my life. Sometimes we have to wear our hearts on our sleeves and say how we truly feel about a situation, so this is my attempt.

The passage for my devotion was Genesis 50:15-21 .. here it is...

After the funeral, Joseph's brothers talked among themselves: "What is Joseph is carrying a grudge and decides to pay us back for all the wrong doing we did him?"
So they sent Joseph a message, "Before your death, your father gave this command: Tell Joseph, 'Forgive your brother's sin-- all that wrongdoing. They did treat you very badly.' Will you do it? Will you forgive the sins of the servants of your father's God?" ... will you do it? Will you forgive the sins of the servants of your father's God?
When Joseph received their message, he wept.
Then the brothers went in person to him, threw themselves on the ground before him and said, "we will be your slaves."
Joseph replied, "Don't be afraid. Do I act for God? Don't you see, you planned evil against me but God used those plans for my good, as you see all around you right now-- life for many people. Easy now, you have nothing to fear: I'll take care of you and your children" He reassured them, speaking with them heart to heart.

Have you ever wanted so desperately to be forgiven? Because what you did was a mistake? I want to be forgiven so bad right now, I want this person to realize I am not the person who would intentionally hurt them. I live for my God, and with that, intentionally hurting someone is out of the question.

What does it mean to be a Christian? It means to let the love of God shine through our hearts and souls out to others. I get extremely frustrated when I see people who claim to be great Christians but yet they can't forgive someone, especially for something that is far done and over with. Would God want you do be mad at that person and hold a grudge for all this time? Would he want you to sit and sulk about it? Would he want you to talk about them as if they are a horrible person who doesn't love your God? NO.
NO.
the answer is NO.

That is the last thing God would want you to do. God wants us to love each other, friend or foe, through our great times and our hard times. God wouldn't want you to stay mad, first of all He wants his people to be happy and free. When you weigh yourself down with all this anger and hatred, you aren't happy. face it, YOU AREN'T. Talking about that person and making them seem so bad.. yeah, that doesn't make you Happy either. You are happiest when you let the love of God flow through your heart. Let it SHINE. Be free with your God.

How can you stand there, say you are a Christian, worship God in front of tons of people, read the bible everyday but yet still not find it in your heart to forgive someone. God already put it in your heart to forgive, you just aren't letting it happen. YOU and your worldly self will not let it happen. You know what God wants you to do, so live in the life of God. Don't let your worldly self stop you from doing what God wants. I know it hasn't stopped you before, so why let it now?

Don't call yourself and Christian and refuse to forgive someone. That's not living out the life God wants you to live.

Face it. Sooner or later, You're going to have to do it.. and it's not going to get easier with time.



So will you do it? Will you forgive the sins of the servants of your father's God?

here goes nothing...

so, I never thought I'd be a blogger. ever. EVER. I mean, back in the day, you know like 9th grade, Xanga was where it was at, but after that, I never thought I would feel inspired to write my thoughts in an online journal of some sort. But here I am, doing just that, on my computer that sounds like a sick tractor and desperately needs to be fixed, and annoys to no end.

Lately, within the past couple weeks I realized something, and this realization isn't exactly something I like. A perfect day for me would consist of a morning cup of coffee/tea, Reading at a coffee shop, drawing, painting, creating something, anything really, then spending some time with some amazing people.
--> but in all reality, my normal day is far from that. It is more like me hitting snooze 5 times before dragging myself out of bed to go to a day filled with either class, then homework or work, then homework, and if I'm lucky, seeing a few amazing people for only a few minutes. Then its off to bed to repeat the same thing. Don't get me wrong, my job is great, for now.

I want to be able to live my perfect day. But here's the catch, I'm in my junior year of college, with a major of Psychology and a minor in Spanish. I am going to be a Child Life Specialist, which I do love, but it doesn't bring me the joy that designing, creating, exploring and truly using my imagination does. Kids are a passion of mine but so are color, texture, light, shapes, canvas and paintbrushes.

God gave us all so many talents, but how do we know which ones to use, and for what? I know that God gave me the ability to care for kids, but he also gave me the ability to create things with color and paint and markers and paper and so much more.

Let's be real here, I am 3 semesters away from graduating and never would I switch my major now, but it's definitely been something that I have been struggling with.

But I figured it out, a lot of times when your hobby becomes your job, you don't necessarily enjoy and love it as much. So why not get my degree and continue to take photos, edit them, create cards and pictures and paintings, for fun. We all need to let our imagination run wild sometimes, and I think it will be much more relieving and relaxing after a long day of work.

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Here's a complete off- topic side note...

I was talking to my girls tonight and we always share a bible verse with them to write in their notebooks, just one that inspired Kelly or I lately.. and this is the one I used tonight..

Colossians 1:17 "He is before all things, and in him all things hold together."

I was having one of those days today, where everything was so, not how I wanted it to be. And everyone has those days where they feel like their world is falling apart but really, everything that happens is a reflection of God or straight from his hand. Often times we get discouraged, frustrated, angry or upset when things seem so so sucky, or you feel so alone but I've decided to challenge myself lately.

When I'm having a crappy day/moment I recite this verse. "He is before all things, and in him all things hold together..." ..." He is before all things and in him all things hold together..." over and over, it gives me peace in knowing that even if we don't understand why something would happen, God is before it and he's going to make it all work out.

It's all about trust.
As hard as trust can be.
It's all about faith.
As hard as faith can be.
It's al about believing.
As hard as believing can be.

I think it's important to constantly encourage others during their hard times, remind them of this verse.

Take it to heart, next time you feel like the world is falling from underneath your feet.

..... random rambles from the mind of Anna.
... round one.

Joy.